Job 1:21 (NLT) - He said, "I came naked from my mother's womb, and i will be naked when I leave. The LORD gave me what I had, and the LORD has taken it away. Praise the name of the LORD!"
As I sit here and think about the whirlwind weekend my wife and I have had, it would be easy for me to get angry and frustrated with God. Why is it that our initial reaction to us not getting our way is to blame God for not being fair or just? Why is it that pride hangs on with such a tight grasp that the only way we can view things that happen in our lives is through pride's lens? I have been reminded over and over again about how our enemy doesn't fight fair. He studies us...he knows our weaknesses...and he knows when and where is the best opportunity to attack. I don't know why I'm so surprised each time he rears his ugly head. It's probably because it's when I'm least expecting it. My defenses are down...I miss the warning signs...I get lazy...it could be any of a number of things. However, I have discovered that my response time is getting better. It's in those moments of attack that I realize two things. 1 - How I respond in this situation gives me a good idea of where I'm at spiritually. 2 - I must be doing something right, because the enemy looks at me as a threat and wants to knock me down a notch or two. One of the hardest things to deal with, though, is your emotional response to it. When your heart becomes attached to something, when it's taken away, it's heart-wrenching. Now, not only do you have to deal with the attack, but you're fighting with your emotions, too.
It's interesting to see life's ebbs and flows. It's interesting to see what walls God helps you break through and what walls pop up next. We had broken through one of those walls right before this weekend and were celebrating a momentary victory in our lives. Isn't it interesting how quickly the enemy wants you to forget a battle that you've won over him? It's no coincidence how quickly the onslaught can come as soon as you are proclaiming God's glory through a victory. It's in those moments that I remember the Hebrew word Selah. In Psalms, we see this word 71 times. It means to pause and reflect on what has just been said. I think that in our momentary victories we need to have selah moments to reflect on what God has brought us through and prepare ourselves for what might be ahead. We are always going to have walls that we need to break through. As long as we are following after God with our arms high and heart abandoned (as Hillsong would sing), we are going to be in the enemy's crosshairs. As I think through that statement, I realize that I better be ready to fight. As a man, I love movies like Braveheart, Kingdom of Heaven, and the Last Samurai where you have one man willing himself to make a difference and fight for his beliefs. The difference for me is that I have an advocate that can help me fight. Not only that, I know the outcome of the battle!! So, when the battle presents itself, I have to remind myself of a few things. 1 - I need to put on my armor (Eph. 6); 2 - I need to be encouraged that the enemy thinks that I'm a threat; 3 - I need to fight well; 4 - When the victory comes (and it will come even though it might take time and perseverance), I need to give God the praise, glory, and credit for the victory. I think where it all breaks down for me is usually step 3. I don't always fight well. As I said before, this is where pride rears its ugly head. I start complaining about all these walls I have to break through and focus on my circumstances and not my Provider and Sustainer. Will the fight be easy...no! Will the victory be quick...not usually! Will there be wounds and pain...absolutely! Is it worth it...without a shadow of a doubt. I have realized that the toughest battles produce such a deep dependence and reliance on God that it widens your view of Him. When victory is finally yours, God becomes bigger in your mind that He ever was before. The thing I always have to remember is that you have to fight for it. Many times, I just want deliverance from the situation or attack, but God is teaching me to fight for what I want. The only way to deepen my relationship with Him is to fight for it! I can't manipulate God to get what I want! He's the potter, and I'm the clay. It's not the other way around.
My prayer has changed. I pray that God gives me the ability and endurance to fight well. I am not the star of this movie (as Frances Chan would say). God is the thread that runs through history. My only hope is that He uses me to help stitch together other people with Him through my struggle and pain. God uses every victory, every struggle, every pain to bring glory to Himself through encouraging others in similar situations. Help me have the discipline to endure, the courage to fight, and the love to help others along the way.
My prayer is that I can always sing these words and mean them:
"Blessed Be Your Name" by Matt and Beth Redman
Blessed be Your Name in the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow, blessed be Your name
Blessed Be Your name, when I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness, blessed Be Your name
Every blessing You pour out I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord, still I will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord, blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord, blessed be Your glorious name
Blessed be Your name when the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be, blessed be Your name
Blessed be Your name on the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering, blessed be Your name
You give and take away, You give and take away
My heart will choose to say, Lord, blessed be Your name
