This Might Hurt a Little

I have begun reading through the Gospels, which is a great thing to do at least once a year.  It is a great reminder of the astounding things that Jesus did during His short ministry on earth.  I've heard these story numerous times, but this time through, God is granting me a new level of understanding.  I am beginning to realize that the deeper I press into God, the more understanding and insight He gives about His Word.  It's a lot like my former Greek professor used to say about Scripture.  He'd say, "Gentlemen, there's a lot of gold in here (holding up a Bible), let's go mine for it."  To me, that means, as I study the Scripture more deeply and more intently, the more opportunity God has to speak truths into my life.  With that, there is a new level of understanding and intimacy.

I was reading through parts of Matthew, Mark and Luke today and God brought a couple of things to light.  First of all, I was reading about the demon-possessed man, which is accounted for in all 3 books.  God brought to mind all the things that He has "rescued" me from, but He also brought to light more things that I need "rescuing" from.  I don't think that any of us are that different from the demon-possessed man.  There have been many times that I have felt like this man, without the demon-possession, of course.  But, I have felt trapped, chained, shackled, cast away and alone with regards to different sins that I have battled with throughout my life.  However, this is the beauty of the story, as soon as Jesus showed up, the demons realized who Jesus was and the power He had.  Then, Jesus cast the demons out and the man was released from his bondage.  I am no different!  God wants me to experience the same kind of freedom.  As soon as I stop trying to "fix" my sins on my own and turn them over to God, He frees me from the control that sin has over me.  I have the tendency to make it more difficult of a process, when all I have to do is lay it at the foot of the cross!  This brings me to the second thing that stuck out to me today...

God can do a lot more that I give Him credit for.  I was reading the story of when Jesus raised Jairus' 12 year old daughter from the dead.  Each account of it in the Gospels tells about the people's reaction to Jesus telling them that she was asleep.  They all laughed at Him.  At the time, I'm sure that news had spread of what Jesus had done and the miracles He had performed.  Obviously, Jairus knew what Jesus was capable of doing.  The crowd that was gathered was aware of who Jesus was.  They were also aware that, when Jesus arrived, the girl was dead.  But, to laugh when Jesus said that she is just sleeping is just absurd to me.  How do you laugh at Jesus, no matter what He said?!?  Then, I realized something, I do the same thing to God now!  When He asks me to do something I'm uncomfortable with, I laugh it off and justify not doing it in my own mind.  Is it not the same reaction?  I have thousands of years worth of stories of how God provided for His children, but don't trust Him enough to take care of me.  In essence, I'm laughing at God and telling Him that all that evidence is not enough for me to trust Him with every aspect of my life.  Perhaps it's time to reevaluate my logic...

The last step in the journey God took me on today is that I need to follow Him with no strings attached.  At the end of the ninth chapter of Luke, Jesus had a group of people following Him as He traveled.  In the last few verses of the chapter, He has a discussion with 2 men.  One man tells Jesus that he will follow Jesus wherever He goes.  Jesus replies by saying that the "Son of Man has no place to lay His head."  Then, Jesus tells the man, "follow me."  The man's response was that he needed to bury his father first.  Then, another man also said that he would follow Jesus, but he wanted to go and say goodbye to the people in his household first.  Jesus replied by saying, "No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God."  I think that I have the same tendencies in my life.  When God asks me to follow Him in something, my response is typically, "Yes....but."  I always have to put a stipulation on the extent to which I will follow Him.  However, it is pretty clear that God just wants me to follow Him without condition.  This goes back to my previous point, how much do I truly trust God?  Do I trust Him with my wife...kids...health...money...job?  What am I willing to entrust to God and say, "do as You see fit?"  The answer should be everything.  Unfortunately, that's not the case.  However, that is the level of commitment God is looking for.

Now what?  Well, I have a lot to process. God is taking me down a path that is unfamiliar to me.  I go back to my first statement...the closer I press into God, the more understanding He gives me.  However, sometimes understanding comes with a price.  Until you actually live out the things you read in Scripture, it is all just head knowledge.  I want to be remembered as a man who lived out the truths that God tells us in His Word, not just a man who knew God's truths.  I guess it's time to roll up my sleeves and get a little dirty.

Consume Me from the Inside Out

As a parent, there are times when I wonder how many times I have to say the same thing to my kids before they finally understand.  It is then that I catch a glimpse of what God goes through with me on a daily basis.  However, I also realize just how much grace God has shown me and that it inspires me to want to praise and thank Him.

One song that comes to mind when I think about God's grace and how it should change me is "From the Inside Out" written by Joel Houston.  The verse begins by saying, "A thousand times I've failed still Your mercy remains and should I stumble again still I'm caught in Your grace."  Then, the pre-chorus continues, "in my heart and my soul, Lord, I give you control, consume me from the inside out.  Let justice and praise become my embrace to love You from the inside out."  I have been thinking about the words of this song pretty regularly, and the thing that I still can't come to grips with  is the fact that God's grace is sufficient even for a sinner like me.  It doesn't matter how many times I fail, God's grace is sufficient.  It doesn't matter how many times we all fail, God's grace is sufficient.  So, I began to ask myself, "Why don't I act that way?"  His grace should inspire me to flush out all my sins to rest in His goodness.

God brought me to Nehemiah to shine a light on this very topic.  Nehemiah 9:16-17 says, "But our ancestors acted arrogantly; they became stiff-necked and did not listen to Your commands.  They refused to listen and did not remember Your wonders You performed among them.  They became stiff-necked and appointed a leader to return to their slavery in Egypt.  But You are a forgiving God, gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in faithful love, and You did not abandon them."

After I had read these verses, I realized that there are times in my life that I have become "stiff-necked" and didn't listen to God.  There are many times where I forget the "wonders" that God has performed in my life.  There are also times when I forget how forgiving, gracious, compassionate, patient, loving and faithful God is toward me.  It's ironic how, when I lose my focus on what God has done for me, He brings me back to His Word to set me straight!  You'd think that I would've learned this by now, but that's why it is so important for me to stay in the Word.  I would rather be corrected and disciplined by God through His Word instead of through something that happens to me.  In fact, a little earlier in the chapter, God reminded me how devoted all of His people should be.  Nehemiah 9:3 says, "While they stood in their places, they read from the book of the law of the Lord their God for a fourth of the day and spent another fourth of the day in confession and worship of the Lord their God."  Do I spend half my day reading, confessing and worshipping God?  Do I even spend a fourth of my day?  I began to realize how little of my day is truly spent trying to connect with God.  It is then that God started asking me how I was going to change that.

I am beginning to realize that, in order to come close to that kind of devotion, I need to be focused on Him constantly throughout my day.  I remember, at one point, one of my best friends would set an alarm to go off every hour to remind himself to maintain focus on Godly things.  For someone like me, that tip is invaluable.  It's so easy to lose focus on what God wants me to do because I get caught up in the busyness of the day.  I think it's about time that I give God my full effort throughout the day, not just when things slow down, or when I can fit Him in.  I remember hearing a story about Martin Luther.  He was becoming inundated with the busyness of his life, so his solution was to get up even earlier each day to spend even more time in prayer and worship.  He said that if he didn't do that, then the rest of his day would be useless because God wouldn't be in it.  Am I that dedicated?  When things become too busy, do I dedicate myself to even more time with God?  I am beginning to realize that Luther was right.  If I don't dedicate myself even more through the busy times, then my days are useless because God is not at the forefront.  When God becomes the driving force of my day, it is then that I can truly sing "in my heart and my soul, Lord, I give you control, consume me from the inside out."