Foolishness for Christ

I surrender all
I surrender all
All to Thee, my Blessed Savior
I surrender all
("I Surrender All" written by Judson Van DeVenter and Winfield Weeden)

Or maybe this one,

Strip away all that remain for the glory of Your Name
'Til there's nothing left of me
Burn the kingdoms I have made that You would shine and I would fade
'Til there's nothing left of me, 'til there's nothing left of me
("Nothing Left of Me" written by Jeffrey Scott and Joel Engle)

Or maybe one more,

So I'll stand with arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the One who gave it all
I'll stand my soul Lord to You surrendered
All I am is Yours
("The Stand" by Joel Houston)

As a worship leader and musician, I can't tell you how many times I have sung and played these songs.  In the moment, when I led these songs, I thought I meant every word coming out of my mouth.  However, if I'm honest with you, I meant them from my head and not my heart.  As I would sing these words, inside I was trying to convince myself that I meant them.  The reality was, I was singing "I surrender all...up until this line in the sand that I have drawn.  Then, I surrender some."  Or, "Strip away the easy stuff that remains, 'til there's still something left of me."  Or, "I'll stand, my head (not my heart) Lord to You surrendered, some of what I have is Yours."

Peter is a prime example of this kind of struggle.  In Peter's own head, he was invincible.  He had convinced himself that if Jesus had asked him to run through a brick wall, Peter would've done it in a heartbeat.  Even when Jesus confronted Peter to tell him that he would deny Jesus three times, Peter's response was, "You must be out of your mind."  I am the same way.  For years, my head was totally committed while my heart teetered back and forth.  My heart would only commit to things that were safe and easy.  Whenever things got difficult, my heart would shut off communication to my head and there would be a busy signal.  Talk about stubborn...I know.

Just like Peter, however, there comes a point in our lives, as believers, that our Heavenly Father brings us to a crisis of faith.  There is no busy signal when the Father gets involved.  He presents us with a question, as He did with Peter.  "Do you love Me?"  Of course I do, my head and heart agree on that.  "Do you trust Me?"  Of course I do, wait, my head does, but my heart isn't sure.  "Do you truly want to surrender and mean those words you sing?"  Yes, Lord, the deep of my heart is calling out to the deep of Your love.  Wait, if I'm supposed to surrender, then I have a few questions for you, Lord.  Will there be pain involved?  "Yes, you must be refined, and that process is not an easy one."  Will there be suffering involved?  "Yes, when you die to yourself, it hurts, but the closeness you will have with Me will far outweigh the cost it took to get there."  Will it be safe for me and my family?  "Your definition of safe is not the same as Mine, but I will never leave you or forsake you.  I love you, and I want what is best for you and your family."  Having struggled through these questions between God and myself, I was finally brought to a point a total surrender, and my heart and head finally agreed.

What does surrender look like?  Well, to others, it will look like foolishness.  Foolishness is defined as an act that is lacking in sense, judgment or discretion.  Paul says in 1 Corinthians 4:10 that we are fools for Christ.  If we follow Christ the way that He requires, our lives will not make sense to those around us.  We will sacrifice when others would walk away.  We will love and show mercy when others would turn up their nose.  We will seek less when others desire more (speaking of things).  When people look at us and watch us, they will see that we are not of this world.  They will look at us as foolish.

Here is what I have come to realize on my journey to foolishness, I have to allow God to break through the busy signal between my head and heart.  If I am to sing, and truly mean, the words of these songs on surrender, then I have to stop trying.  If I try and make myself surrender, I will fail every time.  At the core of surrender is the idea of yielding, or submitting.  Initially, there is this fear of what will happen, but fear does not come from the Lord.  The enemy will fight against this kind of surrender with all his might, so don't allow fear, doubt, or any other negative thought or emotion sway you.  Trust that, through this process, the Lord will never leave you or forsake you.  He is birthing in us His desires and His will for our lives.  God is always at work in us, it's up to us to yield control.  It is then that God can do amazing and miraculous things.

Be God's!