It sure is easy to fantasize about what your life could be, isn't
it? Whenever I find myself in a tough situation or when circumstances
seem overwhelming, I find myself dreaming about what I could be doing
instead of where I find myself. Usually, my conversation with God goes a
little something like this:
Me: God, I think that I could be better
used as a missionary somewhere...maybe Wales or South Africa, or maybe even
Australia. If You told me to sell everything and be a missionary, I would do it
right now.
God: I am so thankful that you have that
kind of servant's heart, but I want you to stay where you are.
Me: Apparently, You didn't hear me
clearly, I said I am willing to go anywhere You want me to...just name the
place.
God: Alright, I want you to go to your
house and love your family to the best of your ability and share with them My
love, too. Then, I want you to go into your community and serve others
and show them My love as well.
Me: What about serving in Wales or South
Africa or Australia?
God: Now, is not your time.
Me: (said in a frustrated child's voice)
But Gooooooddd!
When I was younger, I had this dream of
being a "famous" youth evangelist. Whenever there was a youth
camp, I wanted to be the guy people wanted to call and speak at their camp.
It was totally a selfish and prideful desire, but I passed it off in my
head as something I would be doing for God, so it was all okay. As I grew and
God matured me, my desires began to change, but I still wanted to be used in
some big, awesome way for Him. Maybe He can use me to be a worship leader
for thousands of people. Maybe He can use me to write a book and do a
book tour and talk at conferences. Maybe He can use me to ________ fill
in the blank for yourself. What I've come to realize is that I am still a
selfish, prideful person. I want to do all these grandiose things for God, but the reality is that maybe God wants me to be a janitor (figuratively speaking). Maybe He wants me to just be faithful in the small tasks and the tasks where my work will not be recognized. Sometimes, God needs a janitor for the job that is at hand. Other
times, God needs people like Billy Graham. Here is what I've come to
realize about God, though. He views the janitor in the same light as He
does Billy Graham. There is no unimportant or menial task with God.
What does God require of us?
Faithfulness! Sometimes, the task God gives me seems mundane and
lacking in excitement, but to Him, it is an important part of His plan.
Think through Scripture. What do we know about Enoch? Not a
whole lot, right? In Genesis 5, we see who some of his relatives were and
who some of his descendants were. Then,
we come to verse 24, where we learn, “Enoch walked faithfully with God; then he
was no more, because God took him away.”
We know nothing else about his life.
Was he a famous prophet in the Old Testament, preparing the way for the
Lord? No. Did achieve some great task for God like
building an ark or setting God’s people free from captivity? No!
All we know is that he was faithful to God and God brought him to heaven
without Enoch dying. Do you think God
looked at Enoch’s life as a failure or something that was "less than" because
Enoch didn’t achieve some great task?
Absolutely not! Enoch had a life well-lived. He was faithful to whatever God called him to do, and his reward was heaven itself.
In the end, what I want to be written about me is the same thing
we know about Enoch…He walked faithfully with God. That is all that matters! All the other things that distract me…fame, renown,
the desire to be somewhere else, they all center around my pride and
selfishness, which is what God is trying to kill in me. Why am I not satisfied with being a janitor
for God? Pride. Why am I unhappy with not being a missionary
and God telling me to stay? Pride. Why am I jealous of what God is doing in
other people’s lives? Pride. Why am I unsatisfied with what God is (or isn’t)
doing in my life? Pride. In order to move past all our dissatisfaction,
frustration and aggravation we have with God and what is going on in our lives,
we must die to our pride. It’s just that
“easy!” When we feel those negative
emotions coming on, our focus should shift to the Maker of our emotions. We must take every thought captive (2
Corinthians 10:5).
To this day, I still struggle with being jealous about what God does in and through other people. I compare their lives to mine, and I feel like I am disappointing God because I don’t have the same achievements. The great thing about God is that He meets me in the middle of those frustrations and jealous thoughts and loves me anyway. As Brennan Manning says, God loves me just as I am and not as I should be, because none of us are as we should be.
Be God’s!
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