I Said Yes to God....and then....

I think that one of the biggest myths about being a Christ Follower is that, by saying "Yes" to God, things in your life will get easier.  While turning to God is definitely the answer to whatever situation you may find yourself in, He is not a get out of jail free card, nor has He promised that the road would be easy.  Being a Christ follower is not for the faint of heart.  I don't say that to discourage you.  In fact, I hope that it encourages you to realize that God sees potential in you.  He's calling you to a deeper knowledge and understanding of Him.  What could be more important?  

With that in mind, I want to say that your "Yes" to God will look different than mine.  However, it doesn't make your "Yes" more or less important, more or less difficult, or more or less necessary.  Let me share with you the lyrics of another one of my favorite praise songs right now...

"Oceans" by Hillsong United

Verse 1
You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep, my faith will stand

Chorus
And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Verse 2
Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now

Bridge
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior



You see, God is calling each of us to deeper water.  Peter accepted the challenge as we see in Matthew 14:22-33.  Not only that, but Peter was the only one who got out of the boat.  The first challenge that we all face is getting out of the boat.  Once we're on the water, the real journey begins.  My journey of faith has seen many of these opportunities presented.  The question that always presents itself is, "Do I have the courage to get out of the boat?"  As I look back on the things God was calling me to do to follow Him more closely, I realized that there was a trend.  It was difficult...every time.  If I were to compare what God is asking of me right now to what He was asking of me 10 years ago, I would say that there is no comparison, what He's asking of me right now is much more difficult.  However, it is my opinion that your current circumstances determine the difficulty of your "Yes."  Initially, it was difficult for me to give up my comfort, my selfishness, my desires, and the rest of my self-focused traits.  However, the more I said "Yes," the more I realized how much I was limiting God.  God became bigger each time I gave up another piece of myself.  Was it difficult...yes.  Was it challenging...every time.  Would I do it again...I'd like to think that I would.  Thankfully, God has remained faithful, patience, gracious, and many other things throughout my journey of faith.  

I've lived a lot of life in the 37 years I've been on this earth.  I almost lost my son to a horrible disease when he was less than 2 years old.  I've almost lost my wife to horrible skiing accident where she broke over 20 bones in her body.  I almost lost my marriage because of my own selfishness and pride.  I am in process of trying to keep my family together after adopting 2 boys to add to the 3 children we had already.  I'm not using these examples to receive pity.  I use these examples to prove that God is still faithful even when circumstances seem overwhelming.  Read the lyrics to Verse 2 again.  I am so thankful that God's grace abounds in deepest waters.  In these moments of distress I cling to Philippians 1:6 (NLT), "And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue His work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns."  Let me state that this isn't a promise that God will make things easy.  It is a promise that God will walk with us through the refining process.  God will never leave us or forsake us, but we need to remember that refining something is painful and uncomfortable.  By definition, refining means, "to remove the unwanted substances in something."  The payoff is that you experience God in ways you would have never thought possible.  God will open your eyes to the vastness of His mercy, the depth of His love and grace, the endlessness of His faithfulness, and so much more.  It is then that you begin to realize that it was never about you to begin with, but you get to be a part of His story!  I can speak from experience...that is most definitely enough.  It's hard to see that sometimes, but in those moments where you feel God nearer than you ever have before, you know that the struggle is worth it.  

As you journey down the "wormhole" of your walk with Christ, you will reach a point where you will think that life was so much easier before you started saying "Yes."  The circumstances you find yourself in will seem so overwhelming that you wish you had never started saying "Yes."  You are completely normal to have this thought!  I think this is a lie the enemy uses on me all the time.  In those moments, there's a quote that comes to mind from Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King...
  
"How do you pick up the threads of an old life.  How do you go on?  Within your heart, you begin to understand there is no going back.  There are some things that time cannot mend, some hurts that go too deep that have taken hold."

I wrote about this quote while we were in Ukraine adopting our 2 boys, and I think it's useful here, too.  Whenever you think things were easier or better before, I hope this encourages you to remember that God has you on the exact journey you are supposed to be on.  Here is what I wrote:

"When Frodo said these words, they hit me like a ton of bricks.  It made me realize that the reason that we are on the journey God has us on is because He wants us to return "home" differently.  The times of mission work (whether local or abroad), the times of worship where you feel God's presence more deeply than ever before, the unity you feel with fellow believers when you share an experience together...all these things are building blocks for God to make us less and less comfortable with where we are right now.  Upon our return "home," we should look around and think the very same thing Frodo thought, "There is no going back."  The same can be applied to wounds and sufferings that we are allowed to endure.  God never leaves or forsakes us in these times of pain, He walks with us through it.  He is teaching us something about Himself, and something about us though the process.  When Frodo says, "There are some things that time cannot mend, some hurts that go too deep that have taken hold," I think he means that we should embrace our wounds, because we have them for a reason.  Our wounds are there to help us remember where God has brought us from and to encourage others who are in the midst of a similar challenge.  Our wounds are there to help us remember that God is faithful to those who call on His name. It gives me peace to know that God can use my wounds and scars to encourage a fellow brother or sister in their journey.  If I am not willing to share my wounds and scars to encourage someone else, then it is almost as if I went through those hard times for no reason.  I have to be willing to let God use my wounds for His glory."

I'll close by finishing the sentence of the title of this blog.  I said "Yes" to God and then my life fell apart.  The good news is that God is rebuilding it according to what He wants, and not what I want.  It is absolutely worth it!